I have chosen not to have human children — but that doesn’t mean I don’t have kids. My babies are small and hairy and poop in a box (which could probably be said for some people’s biological offspring too!) I know that many parents get bent out of shape when you suggest that you don’t need children because you have pets — but in my case, it’s entirely true. My cats travel with me everywhere I go as a full-time RVer, they share my experiences, and make me smile on a regular basis. And in many ways, they can be just as needy and clingy and lovingly-irritating as a kid — they wake me before I’m ready in the morning, shove their way onto my lap at inconvenient moments, and cry when I leave them alone for too long. I couldn’t live without them. My little boo-girls are all the kids I’ll ever need (too much, sometimes!) However to me, cats provide a bigger payoff (in terms of love and affection and all that jazz) with much less noise, hassle, and frustration.
When folks ask if I have kids, I say that I currently have two small hairy babies and that’s plenty for me — ahhhhhh, the pitter-patter of little feet without having to buy them shoes! Some parents get offended when I compare their hairless animals to my furbabies, but my cats really are my children — I’ve watched them grow up from infants and nursed them through pee-pee accidents and illnesses, so I feel that qualifies. They love me unconditionally, crawl into my lap and cuddle almost on command, never pitch a fit in the middle of the grocery store — and sure as hell get into less trouble than teenagers. Besides, when was the last time you could leave a 5-year-old child home alone for the weekend without a babysitter? Not an issue for me!
Every time I’m around one of my friends with children, I think to myself, “Thank God I have cats!” Of course, you’ve got the temper tantrums and the fights at school and the taking-the-car-without-permission issues to deal with. But even the good ones require constant attention 24 hours a day. It’s exhausting and I just don’t have it in me! Needless to say, there are MANY reasons why I find cats more satisfying than kids — here are 25 of them.
- my furbabies come when I call — unlike a crotch-dropling who will intentionally ignore you
- I’ll never have to tell them to change clothes or clean off that makeup before leaving the house
- they eat what I give them without complaint, and asking for chicken fingers or a Big Mac instead
- when they bitch about something, it doesn’t matter — ‘cuz I can’t understand what they’re saying
- they’re actually quite a bit smarter than your average grade-schooler
- I’ll never have to buy my hairy progeny school supplies, eyeglasses, braces, or a new bike
- they’ll never ask me for a raise in their allowance — or any allowance, for that matter
- I’m not responsible for sending them to private school, summer camp, or an Ivy League university
- they don’t demand the latest new toy — they’re entirely happy playing with a milk bottle ring
- automatic feeder/waterer, clean litter box, and I can go out of town without hiring a sitter
- my lady-girls will never take the car out for a joyride without permission
- I didn’t have to birth to them myself
- they love me unconditionally — and will never resent me or tell me they wish I weren’t their mom
- I never have to keep track of who they’re hanging out with
- they’ve been fixed since infancy — so no chance of teenage pregnancy
- my boos don’t watch television or play video games until all hours, keeping me awake
- I never have to get up in the middle of the night for a 2 AM feeding
- bath time is a non-issue — as is the typical getting-ready-tug-of-war in the morning
- no afterschool activities, no homework, no teacher conferences
- they don’t spend all day on the phone or the internet
- my 4-legged kids don’t generate 6 loads of dirty laundry each week
- I never worry about them hammering nails into the coffee table or setting fire to the curtains
- they came potty-trained — no diapers, no wet-wipes, no rash cream
- kitty litter is scoopable — human baby poo isn’t
- while they may urk up a hairball, they never throw food or wipe it on the walls
Copyright 2012 RamonaCreel.com
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Ramona Creel is an award-winning 15-year veteran organizer and member of the National Association Of Professional Organizers. As well as having birthed “The A-To-Z Of Getting Organized,” Ramona is also the author of “The Professional Organizer’s Bible: A Slightly Irreverent And Completely Unorthodox Guide For Turning Clutter Into A Career”—and the creator of more than 200 “quick-start” business tools and templates for use by productivity professionals. She writes seven different blogs, has worked with hundreds of clients, and has delivered scores of presentations on getting organized. Ramona resides on the roads of America as a full-time RVer—living and working in a 29-foot Airstream. Learn more at and RamonaCreel.com.
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И увидел, что никто даже не улыбнулся, когда текст был наконец расшифрован. Беккер так и не узнал, какие страшные секреты он помог раскрыть, ни одна вещь не вызывала у него никаких сомнений. АНБ очень серьезно относилось к дешифровке.
Полученный чек превышал его месячное университетское жалованье.