When my dad died exactly one year ago, I didn’t know what to do.
It was the second semester of my freshman year in college, and it wasn’t something that I expected to happen. At that point, I knew my dad was really sick and that he probably wouldn’t have a long life, but I didn’t think that his death would come so soon.
I didn’t know whether or not I should cry immediately, if I should scream, when I should cry and for how long, when I could smile, when it was OK to talk about what happened, what happens next, whether I should stay at school as much as possible or spend as much time at home as possible.
We don't think our parents will ever die.
It just doesn’t seem like something that should happen. They raised you, took care of you, taught you everything you know, bought you everything you needed, took you to cool places, made you laugh endlessly.
They’re real-life superheroes, and superheroes are supposed to be immortal, right? So when they’re gone, it just doesn’t seem real, even though you know it is.
Here’s what happens.
Grief comes in waves.
Before my dad’s death, I wasn’t really one to tear up after seeing those dramatic ASPCA commercials. Believe me, they always got to me like they do everyone else, but they never actually made me cry.
That flew out the window.
Every time I see one of those commercials, I get choked up. The same happens with those emotional videos on Facebook that are strategically edited to make people cry. The ones with the classical music in the background interspersed with emotional dialogue – you know the ones.
Emotions change randomly and rapidly, and a lot of the time, getting upset seems inconvenient for those around me, for myself or for whatever situation I’m in. I thought this would completely throw my life off track, especially my education.
But surprisingly, my grades didn't drop. Even I expected them to, and I've always had good grades.
Maybe it was because my instructors were gracious, but I’m doing better now than I ever have in college. I even made the dean’s list last semester. Seriously, no idea how that happened.
I’m more focused on myself.
Before my dad passed, I was so consumed by his battles that I never gave myself enough time to focus on my own.
Maybe this sounds selfish, but it’s true. It’s not that I’m happy that my dad is gone, more so that I’m relieved that he’s no longer in such immense pain.
This means I don’t have to worry constantly anymore, and that means I’m better able to focus on other important things in my life, even though I wish my dad could see me doing well.
My dad’s absence still confuses me.
I still expect to get calls from my dad asking to hang out every once in a while.
This happens even more whenever a Marvel movie comes out. That was our thing, my dad, my sister and I, going to see every new Marvel movie together. No matter how unenthused I was about them, my dad always made it a fun experience.
I also find myself wanting to call him and tell him about little things, like getting a good grade on a test that I was worried about or my best friend doing something funny.
And I know he still knows about these things somehow, but it would be so comforting to have just one more five-minute phone call with him to make sure.
One of my biggest fears is forgetting my dad.
Not literally forgetting his existence, more so little things about him.
How his voice sounded, what his hugs felt like, how he smelled, his unnecessary loudness or what he looked like in person rather than just in pictures.
I know I won’t forget these things, but I feel that without him here physically, I’ll have a harder time remembering some of the specifics.
People pretend like they know what you’re going through.
Here’s the thing: losing a parent in a more expected situation, at an older age, is completely incomparable to losing a parent as a teenager. I didn’t have as much time with my dad as most people have with their parents before they die. Plain and simple.
You can try to tell me that you understand how I feel because you lost a parent at 40, but you still had 21 more years with them than I had with mine.
If you went to college, you got to have that parent at your graduation. My dad won't be obnoxiously cheering me on at mine.
If you have a career, your parent got to see you get your first job. My dad won't be able to celebrate with me when I do.
If you’re married, you got to have that parent at your wedding. My dad won't be there to walk me down the aisle.
If you have kids, the parent you lost got to meet them. My dad won't get to hold my babies.
It’s hard to lose a parent at any age, I know that, but not all emotional support needs to be empathetic.
I worry more about my mom.
When you have one dead parent, you tend to worry a lot more about the living one.
I’ve found myself thinking of the worst possible scenarios when my mom doesn’t text or call me back after a while, even though I know she’s just working, driving or busy with something else important.
When this happens, I get irrationally worried, scared about losing the only other parent I have left, because I don’t know where or who I’d be without my mom.
Yes, I’m 20 years old, I’m an adult, but I still have no idea what I’m doing. I’m still just trying to make sure I get all of my homework turned in on time, that I don’t procrastinate studying for midterms too much and that I’m saving enough of my minimum wage so I’m not broke when I graduate.
You can’t be prepared for a parent’s death, ever, especially not at 19 years old.
Losing a parent at a young age is an especially devastating event, one that I hope no one else ever has to experience, yet one that way too many people have to live with.
6. Essay About My Parents
Parent and Same-sex Parents
Same-sex Parenting Shaelyn Leckington Comm/215 July 21, 2014 Julie McCabe Same-sex Parenting Everyone should have the opportunity to parent a child, if they wish too. It is an experience unlike many others to have a child. A child to love, nurture, and help mold into an adult. People of all different genders, races, and ethnic backgrounds have been able to adopt children. Even single individuals can adopt a child. However, there is an issue that has made itself known, most of society
Words: 869 - Pages: 4